From time to time, I get spam post notifications for this blog. If I hadn’t gotten those notifications, I would have forgotten this blog altogether. I have now apologized to myself for observing yet again another one of my life’s patterns— to turn away from something that feeds my passion and renews my energy. At the time I turned away from this blog, I resumed another artistic passion– photography– which I had neglected during the period of posting regularly to this blog.
Riyadh, the Middle East, and Islam, have never flown far from my consciousness, however. I still have “Return to Riyadh” dreams. I’m still in love with the Middle East. I still call myself a Muslim, albeit with adjustments, if such a thing is possible. As the years pass, and separate me further from my twelve year residence in Riyadh, my memories congeal upon the positive aspects of those years, the aspects I will never lose, and never live again.
Here I am, approaching the center of a figure-eight of sorts, with respect to this blog. I ebb and flow, spin and turn, and then shoot forth, but I do not fall off the far end of the figure-eight. My artistic nature must be expressed, but the form of expression is not important. Writing, photography, music, knitting– yes, knitting!– are all part of me.
However,I am not one of those dedicated, tenacious people who do not lose sight of their path. I will never stick with one activity long enough or deeply enough to achieve notoriety in the world. That is not my purpose, yet I envy those who apply themselves unflinchingly to their artistry, over time, to achieve mastery and authority. I envy them, and wish I were able to apply myself to passions without becoming lured and seduced by other passions. The important thing for me, however, is that I engage in some sort of artistic expression every day for several hours at the minimum…and better, all day long.
I am happy to post here again. Perhaps I will continue posting regularly for a time.