Lately, I’ve been spending more time on the Natural Arabic website. I’ve been studying the vocabulary, taking the quizes, replaying the selections, and doing my best to put those new words into my long-term memory. It’s not working very well, yet I continue to do it, as if learning Arabic is something I should do, can do, and need to do. I apply myself to it as if I haven’t already applied myself year after year with the same poor result. I am not fluent in Arabic. In fact, I can’t even understand it whether it’s spoken in Fusha, Saudi dialect, or Egyptian. I worked so hard, the entire time I was in Riyadh, to learn this language, and I had no support from my husband, except for learning the Qur’anic language, and yet, after twelve years in Riyadh, I should be farther along. I should have been fluent years ago.
Why am I resuming my study of Arabic? I abandoned it from 1998 til 2008, while I struggled to reestablish my life in the United States. I missed it, and felt sorry that I couldn’t achieve fluency. I still loved the language, and felt my disadvantage in not knowing it. When I took it up again, I was surprised to discover that I hadn’t forgotten much of what I’d learned. Has I learned so little that retaining it was not difficult?
I remembered the basic grammar. In fact, I can still look at just about any Arabic word and tell you its grammatical structure, if not its meaning. I remembered how to form possessives. I remembered the dual, I even remembered some of the common verb forms and how to conjugate them. I remembered the particles and many of the verbal nouns.
Reading is still easy. It’s just the meaning that continues to escape me.
I can’t even blame my retardation upon Arabic’s expanded vocabulary (compared to English). Even the common words that I recognize easily enough do not register with meaning in my mind. Perhaps it’s simply a matter of repetition, I thought, as I applied myself to the lessons of Natural Arabic. I repeated words and phrases and entire articles over and over until I was sick of them, then went back the next day, and couldn’t remember half of what I’d learned, so I’d do it again, and come back the next day, and maybe remember a few words.
I love the Natural Arabic website. It’s user-friendly, efficient, and the most engaging Arabic language tool I’ve discovered, so I cannot blame it for my incredibly slow progress.
I downloaded the articles and put them on CD so I can listen to them in my car. The result is that I can now read and recite along with the CD, but I still don’t get the meaning, entirely. Oh, I can usually get the gist, but the gist is not good enough. I want to remember the meaning of every single word, every phrase, every idiom, and I want to remember them instantly, almost like the native speaker I should have become.
Now that I’m sixty, I refuse to believe that my mental capacity for languages has diminished. My daughter wants me to speak Arabic with her son, whose first language is necessarily English because we live in the United States. She wants him to grow up with Arabic, also, so I am finally getting my chance at speaking, even if it is with a three-year-old. I’ll really be mortified if he learns more than I do, and learns it faster. Well, at least I can still claim the technical achievement of knowing the alphabet, word structure, and how sentences are put together. He’ll have to grow half up before he can grasp those basics. I’ll probably be a goner by then.
So why am I doing this? I love sound of the language. I’m doing it for love.